There Will Your Heart Be
When I started this blog nearly a year ago, I wrote about fear: fear of the future, fear of the unknown, fear of failure — the list goes on. I’ve never quite understood why it is that I carry so much fear around. Part of it has to do with an inability to accept imperfection. When I see myself falling short, there is horror in my head. And nothing I can do can make it go away.
Another part has to do with an inability to accept impermanence. Over the last year, I have gone through so many different identities. As soon as I feel like I’m starting fit in somewhere, I have to uproot, move on, and become somebody else. I am so grateful for all the good things that have come my way, but on nights like this — sitting here alone in a heatless room in London — I just wish I had something to belong to, and somewhere to call home.
This has been the most accomplished year of my life. It has also been the most lonely. But I think what drives me forward every day is to concentrate on the things that I really care about. Somehow, that keeps me centered and focused. It fights off the loneliness. It staves off the fear.
Poster defending older people’s right to intimacy
